Reality Is Indeed A Bitch

Hmmm...... So this is interesting. Apparently 100k doesn't get you quite the real estate it used to. And when I say "used to" I mean 1872 because that's about the last time someone with $100,000 could conceivably purchase a home that didn't smell like kitty piss and Bleu cheese.

On a side note, I think Kitty Piss would be a great name for a girl band.

My dreams of mansion living have been a bit dashed at this point as it looks as though this:

may be a bit more in my price range. Only without the yard because Vegas landscaping consists of 4 square feet of rocks. My future back yard:

Think I'll put the BBQ riiiight there

But I cannot be deterred. I am not made for apartment living, what with having the ability to hear, a fondness of protecting personal property and of course my disdain of human interaction. Although I will miss the roaches, excuse me "water bugs" as Las Vegians prefer to call them.

Last weekend I actually witnessed my dumbass of a neighbor yelling at his dog to do his business.I shit you not, while bending over and pointing at this poor, scared little creature, he told the dog "You can either go now, or not at all, it's YOUR decision". Well that's just fucking brilliant. Because everyone knows dogs are very rational creatures, so I'm sure as soon as the dog took a minute to consider how inconsiderate his lack of pooping in a timely manner was to his owner, he complied without future incident. This guy should be presented to anyone who believes abortion should be illegal.

So call U-haul, I gots to be moving on. I may end up living in an outhouse, but it will be my outhouse, complete with plumbing issues and HOA fees. Good times.