The Future Of America

Today I had the misfortune of driving down a street with a school on it. From what I can gather 2 out of 3 streets in Vegas have schools on them. Apparently school was letting out and as I crept along at 15 fucking MPH ,as the flashy signs instructed me to do, watching our country's future doctor's, teachers and (not surprisingly) a large amount of future inmates, clad in skinny jeans and pants so low they have to walk bowlegged to keep them from falling down (brilliant) I had a few thoughts.

1- 15 MPH?? Really? Did I mention this school was a high school? In my opinion if these kids are too stupid to cross the street without it being necessary to slow traffic down to a crawl by the time they are in high school, well to hell with them. It's called survival of the fittest bitches, and by plowing down the slow stupid ones, I'm helping the natural balance of things by thinning out the herd. And yes, that's exactly what I plan on telling the police.

2- If these fools are our future, we're screwed.

3- Judging by the above thoughts I am really old (and kind of a bitch). Time to mix up a nice tall glass of Metamucil, slip on a housecoat and flip through the TV Guide to find a rerun of Murder She Wrote.

4- I've heard and read some things about kids and eating disorders. About how everything from Hollywood, models and even Barbie is causing our youth to have poor body image and in turn they're developing eating disorders. I'm unsure of where all these anorexic kids are, not at this particular school for sure. You know why I think our youth has poor body image? Because the majority of them are fat as hell. Tip to America's future gastric bypass patients: put down the remote, hoist your big ass off the couch and move. Preferably in the opposite direction of the kitchen.

5-Why is our nation's capitol called the District of Columbia?

That last one doesn't have anything to do with the rest of this post but I've never received an answer to this question I've deemed acceptable.