Mutt For Sale....errrr....FREE!!

I love my dog. He rocks. Mostly. Every once in a while he gets a hankerin' (is that a word known to people that are NOT inbred?) Anyway. He gets bored while I'm away at work makin that bacon and he begins to look for things to chew on. From what I can gather he starts with the garbage, but it's just bedroom garbage so all he really gets is lint trap leftovers, tissues still damp with my tears and on a really good day a Starbucks coffee cup. After exhausting the garbage grub, he moves on to other various chewables including, but not limited to: A brand new box of tampons, dish towels, a shoe that resembled something Peg Bundy would wear (he probably actually did me a favor with that one) the cat(s) and anything else that he deems edible. Well last night, I came home to this:

That's right, apparently my MAC lipstick was on his list of tasty treats. This is only 1 of 3 piles of destroyed lipsticks I came home to. Sadly, this is not even the first time he's done this. MAC seems to be a favorite but he doesn't discriminate, he also enjoys Estee Lauder and Clinique. And he also doesn't limit his options to lipstick, oh no, he enjoys a good compact as well (mirror just gives it texture, like nuts or croutons!) eye shadow and blush, a tube of mascara is also an acceptable snack. I know what you're thinking, why not put my whore paint where he can't get to it, well that IS an idea isn't it?? Too easy.

He knows he's been naughty, so I come home to this:

DO NOT let him fool you, he's not sorry. I used to get really upset and yell at him (that just makes him tinkle and then I have to clean that up too) so now I don't yell, it's a cold war and he gets the silent treatment. He can hold out longer than I can, but my psychological mind tricks get to him, I can tell.