The Dream Is Dead

Well that didn't take long. Once again my dreams of home ownership (and the 8K tax credit that would come along with it) have been dashed. See despite the fact that I am chronologically an adult, financially I am at best, a 7 year old with a paper route and allowance from mom. Well mom just got laid off after 20 years with her company. Thanks ASSHOLES. So no financial backing from mama means no home loan which means I am destined to live in my craphole apartment until I die, at which point my dog and cat will be forced to eat my rotting corpse in order to survive until someone notices I've gone missing. I'm thinking I better fatten up because that could take up to a month depending on how long it takes the neighbors to notice the stench or the management here at Crackhead Court to realize I haven't paid rent.




The actual photo used in the brochure for my complex:



Little piece of heaven huh?

I'm trying to stay positive. Telling myself all the bullshit lies people fall back on when things don't go their way. Just wasn't meant to be.....Something better will come along..... When one door closes another one opens....... God has a different plan in mind.... Well except for that last one because even I'm not delusional enough to buy into that.

When I'm not wasting time trying to convince myself that maybe, just maybe, my future doesn't consist solely of lonely nights filled only with cheap vodka and never ending tears, I'm trying to deal with the immense guilt I'm feeling due to the fact that after all the years my mom has helped me out, I cannot return the favor. Needless to say, I am in fact more fun than a barrel of monkeys these days. I'm hoping my own patented brand of self medication (IE alcohol, frozen pizza drowning in Ranch dressing and self pity) will eventually pull me out of my funk. Yep, this is the year, I can just feel it!!